MCP

Eagle sent me what the probably the most MCP forward doing the rounds on the internet....... its hillarious!!! Check it out:

>>>> How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>>>> Marry It!

>>>>>>>> What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
>>>> A battery has a positive side.

>>>>>>>> What are the three fastest means of communication?
>>>> 1) Internet
>>>> 2) Telephone
>>>> 3) Telawoman

>>>>>>>> How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
>>>> They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

>>>>>>>>>>>> How is a woman like a condom?
>>>> Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dck.

>>>>>>>> What should you give a woman who has everything?
>>>> A man to show her how to work it.

>>>>>>>> Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called awaist?
>>>> Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

>>>>>>>> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
>>>> Put a nipple on it.

>>>>>>>> Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
>>>> Because they don't have balls to scratch.

>>>>>>>> Why did God create woman ?
>>>> To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

>>>>>>>> Why do women fake orgasms ?
>>>> Because they think men care.

>>>>>>>> What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
>>>> Nothing, she's been told twice already.

>>>>>>>> If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
>>>> Made her chain too long

>>>>>>>> How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>>> None. It should be opened when she brings it.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>>> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>>> It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

>>>>>>>> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
>>>> When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

>>>>>>>> >>>> How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>>> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Why do men pass gas more than women?
>>>> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

>>>>>>>>>>>> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in >>>> first?
>>>> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

>>>>>>>>>>>> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>>>> A woman who won't do what she's told

>>>>>>>>>>>> I married a Miss Right.
>>>> I just didn't know her first name was Always.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sexdrive by 90%.
>>>> It's called a Wedding Cake.

>>>> >>>>>>>> Women will never be equal to men...
>>>> until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

>>>>>>>>>>>> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
>>>> Then God created Man and rested.
>>>> Then God created Woman.
>>>> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.